Happy middle of December to you! Hopefully, you’ll feeling just the perfect amount of pre-Christmas glowy warmth by now. I’m very fortunate to have developed the life skills, particularly in my 40s, to pull off a pretty much stress-free Christmas. It helps having very cool people in my family, but I also let go of the Martha Stewart Perfect Christmas … Read More
LOSING LORI #19 – December 5, 2012
Oh hi, sugar plum! Last week, partially to celebrate 40 pounds gone, partially because my neck and back were tight, and mostly because I like me, I booked myself a massage. I’ve only had a couple of official massages in my life and I generally ruin them by yacking endlessly due to my debilitating need to be liked, particularly by … Read More
LOSING LORI #18 – November 28, 2012
Hello, you delicious little so-and-so, you! So, as usual, I had the Tuesday sneak peek weigh in yesterday. I don’t know why I do this. I think it’s so I have 24 hours to process whatever happened before I publish the blog. More to the point, it gives me time to drink 14 gallons of lemon water in case I … Read More
LOSING LORI #17 – November 21, 2012
Hi nice person, It’s good to see you. It means a lot to me that you read my words. I met a brand new friend (and kickass comedian) this past weekend; the warm, red-heel wearing, blessed-with-dimples Katie-Ellen (I’ll hold off on the last name in case she wants to remain anonymous. Trust me, there are thousands of dimpled comedians named … Read More
LOSING LORI #16 – November 14, 2012
Hi! *hug* I was with my pal Kim last week. She relayed a story to me. Her husband was at a conference and some nice lady said she liked my comedy. Said husband claimed we were friends, which she didn’t believe, so he showed her that we are friends on Facebook. Apparently, she looked at my picture and said, “She … Read More
LOSING LORI #15 – November 7, 2012
Hi Sillypants, c’mon in. Let’s put the blankets in the dryer for 10 minutes then wrap ourselves in them then pass out from bliss. Just got back from a short trip to Minneapolis. I thought of Mary Tyler Moore the whole time and threw my hats everywhere. Just kidding. Hats don’t fit this enormous noggin. While away, I walked, swam, … Read More
LOSING LORI #14 – October 31, 2012
Happy Halloween, homies! May your jack-o-lantern be abundant with delicious seeds, may your childrens’ sugar highs be tolerable and may your costumes contain your bosoms. Why the bosom remark? Oh, I’ll tell ya why. On Saturday at an out-of-town gig, a fight broke out between some ladies (?) in whorish costumes. In the aftermath, I heard the mini-riot was incited … Read More
LOSING LORI #13 – October 24, 2012
Hey Sugar! Wait. Considering what I’ve learned about sugar in the last week, I shall not sully your good reputation by using it as your pet name. About 20 cm of snow fell last night. In response and protest, I have assumed the position demonstrated in the photo and will stay as such until April. Almost true, except the snow, … Read More
LOSING LORI #12 – October 17, 2012
Hey, my little pumpernickel. Come on in. I want to call this post “Unfinished Research” because I have a lot to say but am not prepared. When I was in Grade 7, I had to do an oral (snicker) report on Alexander Graham Bell (he invented the iPhone and yams). Mr. Yokota would pick random students each day to present … Read More
LOSING LORI #11 – October 10, 2012
Hey gorgeous! Get your sweet ass in here. I pre-warmed your spot on the couch with my aura. So, here’s something. I was at Psych this morning. Here is an excerpt: Me: Did I tell you I’m going to Hawaii in the Spring? Yeah, I really want to lose enough weight to go zip-lining. I hear some places have weight … Read More